It has been a few years since I have been on the go with few quiet downtimes just for myself. Even when I do have some quiet time, my mind seems never quiet. There is always one more thing to do. The last couple of months have been quite stressful after my mom passed away and I can feel the physical and mental effects of stress, over a long period, eat away at my body.
Mom was only 73 years old and died from a heart attack. For over ten years she was diagnosed with diabetes which eventually caused her to lose her eye sight. I am concerned about both of these ailments – heart attacks and diabetes.
Growing up, I don’t recall seeing my mom make time for herself. She was always busy taking care of us. Her life was not easy and I know that she did all that she could have done for us and I will always be grateful. But, I wished I had seen her practice more self-care – to do her nails, style her hair more, wear more pretty clothes and jewelry, laugh more, entertain more, rest more… From my eyes, it seemed that her life was hard – a huge sacrifice for her children.
As I raise my own children, I realize how difficult it is to make the time for self-care or to simply do the things I love to do. I realize I have unconsciously absorbed some of my mother’s traits for example moving around the house silently and not saying much to any one when I have too much on my mind. There are so many priorities in my life and I seem to juggle more than one thing at any given time.
I was about 18 years old when I asked mom to go on a trip with me so that she could experience being in another country. Her response was, “Child, save your money”.
Many years later, after she became blind and I moved to Canada, I asked her to come to spend some time with me. Her response was “Where can I go now… I am blind”
This moment is all that we have. This year, I want to manage my moments better. I want to consciously create a beautiful 365 days, one day at a time. I want to look good and feel good each day. I want to encourage others to do the same too. I think we can better serve our spouses, our children, our co-workers when we feel our best.
Here is to an amazing 2012!