January 10th, 2012
Tip#10: Use the 10-10-10 formula to make decisions
“Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else’s life.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
“To be or not to be?”
To marry or not to marry? To leave our jobs or not to leave our jobs? To divorce or not to divorce? To reconcile or not to reconcile? To have a baby or not to have a baby? To save money or not to save money? To try a new skill or remain comfortable with what I have? To exercise or not to exercise?
Walter Kaufmann at Princeton University in 1973, proclaimed that there was a new kind of fear – the fear of making serious decisions. He called it decidophobia!
All day long we have to make big and small decisions. Several years ago, I read about a technique called the 10-10-10 formula and have been applying since when I am confronted with making a decision. I ask myself those three questions:
a) How will this decision affect me 10 minutes from now?
b) How will this decision affect me 10 months from now?
c) How will this decision affect me 10 years from now?
I have decided to create wonderful moments, exercise and all this good stuff because when I think of my life 10 months and 10 years from now, I would like to a healthy, positive and vibrant person. I decided to fly all my children to St.Lucia for my mom’s funeral because 10 years from now, I would like them to have this memory of their grandmother’s funeral and her life as part of their family history. I decide to get to the bus stop on time because 10 minutes later, I will miss the bus and be 1 hour late for work!
It is important to weigh pros and cons before we make decisions. If we procrastinate too long about making decisions we may lose out on opportunities, prolong uncomfortable situations, deny ourselves the luxury and privilege of enjoying some new adventures… the fear of making the wrong decisions is something which seriously affects all of us.
Here are somethings we can do to help us make decisions:
- Write out the pros and cons
- Listen to your gut instinct – you may already know the answer at a deeper level
- Give yourself a window of time to think about it… a night, a week, a month… but not forever
- Talk to a trusted friend about it or write about it… it helps us to clarify our own thoughts and find our way
- Seek God’s counsel. Some decisions are tough and are life changing… Ask for Divine intervention and guidance. I usually ask God to give me a “dramatic” sign that whatever decision I make, is the right one for now…
- It is o.k to decide now and make another decision later. We are all on a learning path and many successes come from failure.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”
LookGood!!! and FeeGood!!!by making LookGood and FeelGood decisions!