Here is what living half-way looks like:
For the past 8 years, I have met this particular woman once every year, always accidentally. Honestly, we don’t know each other’s names. Each time I see her, she seems to have put on more weight and looks more stressed than the previous year.
My usual conversation with her for 8 years have been: “How are you? How are things at work? Still at the same job?”
Her usual response for 8 years have been “This place I work… these people are bad…. you know I have worked there for so long and I cannot even get promoted. They are all such bad managers…. it is a terrible place to work. I am qualified. They promote everyone but not me.”
And for 8 years I have asked: “So why don’t you change jobs… why don’t you do something else… do you like what you do?”
And for 8 years her answer has been: “Well, I am not going anywhere! I need the money to pay my mortgage and I am permanent. So I am not moving.”
I don’t know whether she is aware that we have the same conversation every year. It is actually funny. The last time I met her, was in a clothing department. It was a work day and I was browsing because I had about half an hour between meetings and since it was during work hours I asked: “Are you off today?”
Her response was “No… everyday I come here to see what the sales are… so I can decide what to buy.”
I said “So you must shop a lot?”
Her response was: ” Oh yes… I buy so much but most of the time I don’t even wear the stuff!”
My assessment of this situation is that of a person who needs to find something to comfort her. This comfort is shopping and food. Her voice is full of animosity. Her body language sends the signal of a fighter. I wonder if I worked with such a person, whether I could survive. Her eyes have lost the sparkle (I don’t ever remember seeing it) and she really believes that her employer is against her. Her stress level increases year after year and now I am as worried about her health as she is.
Mary asked Ken “How are things going?”
Ken answers: “Same shit, different day!”
They laugh together because they know it is true. Nothing has changed in Ken’s life for the last 10 years. He had two kids with his current girlfriend, moved out, moved back in, does not have much money, surrenders to her abuse and her insults, spends most of his time watching television and doing some shift work every now and then. As the kids get older, there is less and less conversation between everyone at home and now he is 1o years older (which makes him 50) he has given up on life. He won’t leave his girlfriend because he has the kids with her and does not want to upset the family. But he has nothing to give either. The sex drive is gone, the love is gone… every day just seems to be a repeat of the previous day.
In both cases, those two individuals are living lives with little fulfillment. There is no joy. It is simply living day by day. In the first case, it would be very difficult for this first woman to find even another job right away because her body is fighting even when she is not saying anything. In the 2nd case, Ken has lost himself. In his eyes, his worth is so little now, that even if he wants to leave, he needs something which is much bigger than him to pull him along.
If we are living half-way, can we pull ourselves up and re-create our lives? YES, we can.
The first step is awareness. We need to realize that we are sinking – the truth is that we don’t see and hear ourselves and most of the time we may be quite unaware that we have developed a comfortable habit of living half-way and not expecting any more from life. When we live fully, even though we get stressed and tired, there is a huge difference with our energy level and we walk with an extra beat. We can feel music rising to our lips and our imagination creates amazing visions. Our voice sounds enthusiastic and happy and we connect easily to life and to people.
If you are living half-way, ask yourself these questions:
a) Do I feel happy? If not, can you identify the cause of your unhappiness? By the way, I think that us adults don’t have time to figure out if we are happy or not. We are too busy doing tasks to keep our machinery of activities and schedules of payments going!
b) Can you do anything about it? Sometimes security and life commitments can make you feel pretty tied down but raise your head up and think of doing somethings to bring inner joy to your life. Now, I am not talking about partying – I am talking about doing something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled on the inside – that long after you have done it, there is a lingering feeling that says “this is exactly what I am in this world to do!” In my case, since my work is in management, I don’t often get the opportunity to facilitate. Facilitation, teaching, training – these are my passions. So every once in a while, I seek an opportunity to facilitate a workshop. It is amazing how it adds a zing of happiness and authenticity to my life. The other thing that gives me absolute pleasure is baking bread and sharing it with others. I love it… when I give bread away, I honestly believe that I have shared my soul with another person. Maybe I could even become a baker and be a happy baker!
Our emotional bodies radiate beyond us. Our energy fields reach others. Living half-way makes our light dim and reduces our visibility to other people. We become small and unnoticeable when we don’t act within our own power and authenticity even when we hold enormous amounts of money or jobs with big titles. The work world has created a system where people get paid more as they move up the ladder but part of the problem we are experiencing is that there are lots of misfits in workplaces. People working to keep a job and get a pay check rather than light the workplace by doing work that truly fit their personality and skill set.
Let us believe in our greatness. Let us believe that the world needs more people with light and love who automatically lift others up because their light is that powerful. We are born to shine and to live full lives.
LookGood!!!FeelGood!!! by doing what truly matters.